FRUSTRATION AT WORKPLACE

24.09.2013/3.14PM Lately, am feeling quite 'heavy'. :) 37 weeks of pregnancy plus demotivation at work place. I guess upbringing do play a role in individuals life... Becoz regardless of my feeling of demotivation, I'm still able to do my job as usual, smile and socialise as always and control my manners and profesionalism as always... I guess my parents are good educators and taught me how to become a person. :) One of the way I've been brought up is to give the best in everything I do. And also to be grateful of what I received. So far, I don't have any problems with this principle. Or am I being too grateful? For me, just do it. If there's any problem, then I need to inform or notify why it can't br done. Excuses doesnt exist for me. Do it first then you will know whether it can be done or vice versa. Which causes me the difficulties I'm in right now.. huhuhu... I am a person who's very simple. I never aimed higher, I'm just focusing on doing my best whenever I'm given a task. Right now, I don't feel that I want to work at my current workplace, not becoz of the job but becoz I believe there's someone else capable of being here, in this position. I'm just not ambitious enough to occupy this seat. And I do need to reproduce every year. Hahahaha... Being pregnant affect my job performance as right now, I'm one of the decision makers in my organization. But, whenever I try to request for a transfer, the door as if had been closed upon me. Even when I contacted directly to the highest authority. Maybe, the rezeki is not for me yet. -sad- Sometimes I wish people know how I feel. Sometimes I wish that people sees me as a mother and a wife, not as a staff who's willing to perform relentlessly for my organization. That's where my mistakes lies. I've been taught to bring out the best. I feel guilty if I failed and not doing the task properly. I don't have the gut to go against whats right and doing the wrong. Which now traps me in this situation. Maybe, I'm turning to the wrong options. Maybe ALLAH is testing me, again. Maybe i shouldn't rely on the people but to pray and ask from ALLAH.. Maybe, that's my mistake all along. And maybe then ALLAH opens up the door for me. :) It's time to change.

Foreword.. 21092013

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim....

In the Name of ALLAH, The Most Gracious and The Most Merciful...

Finally, I've created a blog. It took me courage and time to finally create this blog, in the effort to ensure that I'm able to leave a piece of myself, to the people I loved and cared so much. :) We just never know the future right? This blog will capture fragments of my life, my struggle, how I view my past, how I live my present and how I prepare for my future. And also, I do want this blog to become my  check and balance of myself, as I'm not perfect and do make regrettable choices in my life.

Judge me as you like but nobody knows how I feel as I'm the one living in my shoes. I despise lies and betrayal so this the platform for me to be as honest as I could.

Well, I guess I have to go now. :) Will start writing soon!!